EQUAL OPPORTUNITY RACISM
by Debra Glidden

(Originally printed in the Syracuse New Times May 3-10, 1995)

Okay, I give up. I'm not going to try to change the racist stereotypes that are found in today's society. Let's try a differnt tactic. I opt for equal opportunity racism. Lets get every ethnic and religious group in on the action. Crazy Horse was a spiritual leader who opposed the use of alcohol, so Crazy Horse Ale is offensive to Native Americans. Instead of pulling Crazy Horse Ale off the market, lets expand the market with Pope John Paul Whiskey and Allah's Ale. The Sundance line of alcoholic beverages could be expanded to include the Holy Spirit and the Mormon Song. The Sundance is a sacred American Indian ceremony and Plymouth has a line of cars called Sundance. Do you think we can convince Ford and GM that to effectively compete in today's market that they need a line ofcars named after sacred ceremonies? We don't want to ignore the Catholics or Jews, so what about the Ford Bar Mitzvah? The GM Holy Communion? We have cars nnamed after the sacred Lakota symbol of the Thunderbird, so let's develop the Mercury Crucifix, The Lincoln Menorah and the Ford Ankh.

So many sports teams are named after American indians and have American Indians for mascots that other groups are being discriminated (against) because they don't receive the same "honor." In the name of equal opprtunity, I propose the following changes: The Syracuse Chiefs could become the Syracuse Godfathers with an Italian Kingpin waving a machine gun for their mascot. The Atlanta Braves copuld become the Atlanta Rabbis. Instead of an Indian waving a tomahawk, their mascot could be a rabbi waving a fistful of dollars. The Washington Redkins could become the Washington Yellowskins, with a half naked sumo wrestler running around the stadium waving a samurai sword. Fans could do the samurai slash. What about the Washington Blackskins or the Palefaces? The possibilities are endless.

It's not fair to just offend, exploit and "honor" American indians. We need to get everyone in on the action, lets hear it for equal opportunity racism.

Debra Glidden is a free-lance American Indian Journalist
Receipent of Howard Simmons award for American Indian Journalists,
Society of Environmental Journalists Awards, Investigative Reporters and
Editors Fellowship.  Follow this link to Debra Glidden's website

copywrite holder: Debra Glidden
For permission to reprint contact glidden@aiusa.com

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